People in American society are constantly telling others to “try something new” and to “be spontaneous.” I used to think I was a pretty square person, having my rituals and routines that I never easily gave up. After I tried the “loosey-goosey” lifestyle, I am pleased to report that, no, you’re wrong, and I should never try anything new again.

Okay, maybe that is an overreaction. But only maybe. Enter: Crest Cinnamon Mint Toothpaste:

What started as an attempt to be more spontaneous on a trip to Kroger turned into a fiasco that I can’t un-live. I honestly believe that I will have PTSD that will only be remedied by years of therapy to undo what Crest has done.

I usually buy the Scope blue toothpaste by Crest. It gets the job done, it’s not gross, I like it. This time I ventured out and decided that Cinnamon toothpaste would be a fun new thing to try. Fun. New. Spontaneous.

I tried the new toothpaste before bed that night, and it tasted really good. It was totally different and tasted like chewing Big Red gum almost. I was proud of myself for taking the leap of faith!

The next day (yesterday), I woke up with a really weird feeling in my mouth. Everything felt raw. Everything was painful. My tastebuds were busted. My mouth was super sensitive to everything. I tried to drink a glass of water and it felt like molten hot magma. I wanted to die. It didn’t help that I was at a ball game with free food all night and oh hey, my mouth can’t even handle ice cubes.

As mad as I could be at Crest, the lesson here is to not succumb to societal pressures to be interesting. I like being boring. I like my boring regular toothpaste that doesn’t cause redness, tears, inflammation, and mental/emotional damage. I just want to eat snacks without it feeling like I’m being stabbed in the mouth. Go with what you know! You know better than others what is best for you—you just have to trust yourself!

enchanted-dystopia:

Tipsy Book Review: Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James

over-the-rhine:

urbancincy:

Cincinnati Instagrams via edotdub, mglenn08, cumby and amykamala.

Beautiful Cincinnati

enchanted-dystopia:

Today I decided that I was good at gardening and general “housekeeping.”

I bought a water hose and a shooter attachment thing (technical name) and sprayed all the gross and/or dead bugs off my house’s grey siding. Then, I decided to spray bug spray along the outside of my house so that they couldn’t enact their revenge plots.

Then I sprayed my car off. 

Then I hung a single flower pot thing.

I subsequently did a load of laundry.

Then I decided I was lazy again and decided not to move the water hose back in the garage.

So, if you’re looking for an awesome wife, keep looking.

-fin-

Video: Cute [Noun] Tuesday— Cute Boy Band Haircuts. 

t0ne-m:

enchanted-dystopia:

So I entered this Cincinnati Innovates contest and I have a chance to win $25,000 to start my own business. I’m losing to about 11 people right now. 

I have quite a few followers on Tumblr. Did you know that (1) you can vote once a week and (2) that if you all voted, I’d certainly be in first place?

Do you know how amazing it would be to beat all of these middle-aged people because tumblr spread my idea like wildfire to help me out?

Did you know I’m giving away a $100 Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf gift card at the end of the month (on my own accord, I just figured you all deserved something for helping) to someone who votes for me?

If you could reblog this, and help me kick some ass in this contest, I would love you forever. 

Please help mi amiga Akilah win!!!

(The things I do for pretty girls… smh lol)

Follow me on instagram: akilahh

My Aunt Gloria, my mother, and I went to a little brunch place called “The Breakfast Club” in Lebanon, OH this past Sunday. If you’re ever in the area, I suggest you check it out. It was incredible.

There aren’t other words.

enchanted-dystopia:

Enter to win a $100 CBTL (Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf) gift card!!

I am giving away a $100 CBTL gift card at the beginning of June! You have until June 1st to enter! That is when I’ll do the random.org drawing!

Here are the ways to enter:
1. Go to http://cincinnatiinnovates.crowdspark.com/entries/51 and vote for our innovative idea! You have to login with facebook so we can track it!
2. Subscribe! Go to http://www.youtube.com/smoothiefreakto subscribe!
3. Click to tweet: http://clicktotweet.com/74bnU
4. Like me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/smoothiefreak

Good luck! You can enter up to 4 times! Thanks for subscribing! The contest runs through June 1st!

one more time for good measure…